Why I need Marie Kondo in my life... 🤣

My friend brought this to my attention and I was like, WHOA! Yes Mama! We are all here together!!!🙌🏼 So I tailored it to my own life and Voilà -this is MY LIFE IN A NUTSHELL!!!!

THIS is it. The year I get it all together.  The year we move together as a family with ease. The year I will get my house in order. Declutter. Organize. Finish furnishing the new home. Hang pictures on the walls. Make the kids help more. Have a better laundry sorting system. Have a cleaning schedule. Enforce a “we make our beds” rule. Don’t wake up to a sink full of dirty dishes. Give away all clothes and toys we don’t use anymore.  Get rid of what doesn’t ‘spark joy’ (yes Marie!!!).  Wow. I’m exhausted just from writing that list. Because we all know how this is going to go. Why, despite my strong resolve year after year, it never happens. Tell me if this story sounds familiar… 8:00 a.m.: Wahoo! Kids are at school (only after three meltdowns, missing school shoes and practically forcing breakfast down one kid’s throat) and a day off for me!!! I’m going to start project declutter today! Hmmm where shall I begin? Well, you know what? I might as well throw in a load of laundry first thing. Oh crap. My laundry room is a mess and I need to deal with this first. Dump the trash. Fold the old laundry still sitting in dryer from 2 days ago. I will start here. After I get a load going. Let me just run and grab all the dirty clothes from the bedrooms. (Note to self: Make kids organize their dirty laundry more often. I’ll put it on the “chore chart” I’ll create later. With bright colors and poster board! Need to run to CVS. Does my sick hubby (post on that drama to come) have a prescription that needs picked up while I’m there…?) Mama! Get back on track! You’re getting distracted. Get your head in the game. Round up the laundry and let’s get this party started. Holy @#%& look at my daughter’s closet. Half of her clean clothes are on the floor. Let me just hang these up quickly. Wow. Are some of these shirts from last year? Do they still fit? She’s going to have to try them on after school. Well maybe not tonight since I have to run her sister to dance and we won’t be home until late. But tomorrow. After homework. Hopefully they don’t get a lot. Might as well sort through everything in here and pull out stuff for donations. And, it makes sense to just organize her dresser too. Ew. What IS all over her desk? Oh great a candy wrapper and pretzel crumbs. HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I SAID NO FOOD IN YOUR ROOMS? Ugh. I’ll just run a vacuum and dust real fast. Of course the vacuum is full. Let me just empty it out and then I’ll really get going. Obviously the kitchen garbage is still overflowing from last night (because why would ANYONE OTHER THAN ME ever take it out without being asked?) Okay. Just need to empty garbage, put a new bag in, empty the vacuum canister, vacuum my daughter’s room, finish sorting her closet and dresser (and desk if there’s time), collect her dirty clothes, bring all of the other dirty clothes to laundry room, start a load of laundry, and THEN I’ll really start the decluttering. Are you serious. We are OUT OF GARBAGE BAGS?! Okay. Write it down on the grocery list. Oh! We are also low on shampoo and hand soap for the bathrooms. Did someone say they needed cotton balls? No clue what for, but write those down too. And cheese. And bread. Do we have sandwich meat? Speaking of groceries, what am I making for dinner? Let me look quickly and see what we have to work with. Wow. This fridge needs a good clean out. Didn’t I just organize and scrub the shelves yesterday? Oh, I guess that was a month ago. But still... Why is it so hard for everyone to put things back where they came from?!?  Next on the list once the laundry get started: CLEAN OUT FRIDGE. Okay we have spaghetti and sauce, at least. I will need to grab veggies from the grocery store too. I wish I could have dinner ready for my husband when he gets home, but how can I make something when I am not home and getting the kids to and from school and their activities. Wish I read that crockpot recipe book I got. That would make my life easier. Next on list after the fridge: read through crockpot recipes and find one that everyone in family can eat. Where will I use the crockpot? The counters are currently covered with Christmas stuff and mail and everyone’s random crap that they just leave there. Is that an eagles shirt sitting there for a week? I need to deal with that and put it away I guess. Is it dirty? Should I add to my wash pile? But first I guess I need to clean off the counters to make room for the crockpot after I find a recipe. But where can I put all of this crap? Certainly not just move it to the desk bc then I have 2 cluttered areas. I’ll just make one giant pile over here on a counter and deal with it later. For now, empty the vacuum in the last overflowing garbage bag, tie it up, and take it to the garage. Man is our garage a hot mess. Once I get the Christmas stuff away, I can at least organize those bins. I saw on Pinterest the other day some amazing garage shelving. And bike racks. Let me find that pin so I can text it to my husband… Oh look, I missed a text. It’s a reminder about the kids’ service hours due next week. And did I made them dentists appointments next week too? Check calendar for confirmation. Man, I need to make them floss more. Praying for no cavities. I need to find a dentist for myself and make an appointment.  After I take care of the kids appointments, I will.  Added to list: research local dentists for me.  Better check my email in case the painter has gotten back to me with a date he can come finally.  Oh, here’s an email from one of the kid’s teachers. 100 day celebration is coming up and she needs to glue 100 things to poster board. Better add that to the CVS list. And they need to start on their Valentines Day boxes. (Note to self: Make sure they start SOON so we aren’t doing them the night before! And FLOSS every day this week! We will it to that “get ready for school” chart we are going to make after the “chore chart.”) And do they need Valentines Day clothes for dress down day? Check their closets if they have anything appropriate. So where was I? Oh, right. Take out the garbage. When did the light burn out in the garage? I can barely see a thing in here. I think we have a back up bulb in the laundry room… 5 years later: Back in the laundry room, staring at piles. And need to leave for school pickup in five minutes. How the... what the... is it really already 2:30?!?!?!?  And that’s the story of me never actually organizing and decluttering my house.